"Today I stood outside in my backyard for the first time in a while and despite the cold, morning air I just… stood there, feeling content. I surprised myself because it had been so long since I last felt so uplifted..? I think that’s the word that best describes it. My hands were numb but I barely noticed (not because they had no circulation. hah.) and my hair left something to be desired for but I remained where I was, looking around and half-smiling because I felt satisfied with myself. I had achieved something -the one thing I struggled with most. The confidence and hope in my ability to perform well as a musician. I know the struggle is far from over and it will be an ongoing process but I realised that’s okay. It’s okay to doubt myself and make mistakes sometimes because I am human. I am not some other-worldly creature that is perfect in all aspects. It’s okay to falter as long as you pick yourself up. As long as you keep pursuing what you love. If you don’t, then something inside of you won’t be the same. There will be regret and bitterness; a longing to do what you love and yet a fear that you won’t do well. Trust me, I know this feeling. I think we all do at some point.
Regardless of what happens, I believe we all should find our passion in life -or if there are many, let there be many passions. If we cease to love ourselves and believe in ourselves… then what is left, but nothing? Don’t become an empty shell of the person you want to be -or once were. Don’t be passionless and afraid to live. Norman Cousins once said “Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies within us while we live.” These words came to mind today and I thought to share it with you -whoever happens to read my blog- in the hopes of enlightening people out there who are struggling to believe in themselves. Let me tell you, once you reach that moment where it all makes sense, nothing will be able to stop you. Nothing and no one. And that’s how it should be, really."
"Try" by Pink - Eunice Suh cover
lysh xx
